My revelation of the word of God concerning marriage is that as a woman there is a lot I need to do. In as much as my husband is the head of the home, that home is function-less or better still non-existence if I am not performing my responsibilities well. I had gone through a lot of challenges in my marital life to the point of wanting to give up. And because I am born-again and submissive in my own ability, it was easy for me to conclude that my husband was the wicked and insensitive one. But because I knew that God will not be happy with me if a take the divorce option, I decided to start praying. I had stopped loving my husband but I felt I owe God the responsibility to hang in there, and also for the sake of our children.
But as I prayed, I was moved to start reading my Bible. Since I had lost my job and business wasn’t going so well, I had a lot of time in my hands to devote to Bible reading. I was frustrated with my pathetic situation, no job and so no income, no happy home or a devoted husband, but I found strength in reading my Bible. It was not too long from the time I truly started falling deeply in love with Jesus and having time for my Bible that revelations that led to my healing process began.
Today I thank God I was able to receive those revelations and obediently follow in the instructions of the truth I found in the Bible. I never got divorced, didn’t have a change of spouse, but I am happy in my home. My marriage is at peace and both I and my husband are in love with each other as if we are just meeting for the very first time. So easy it is to totally forget the ugly past and enjoy the beautiful now that leads to an even better tomorrow.
I have heard a lot of people say that marriage is a 50-50 responsibility of the man and his wife. I do not disagree this with in any way, but I will beg that each spouse see marriage as their 100% responsibility. As a spouse it is easy to draw the love and attention out of your partner solely from the love and attention you have been able to deposit in him/her. Marriage like most other things is an investment that you get to reap what you have sown. But there is a fact that remains, and that is: it is not enough that you have sown a seed or many seeds, but there is One who watches over your seed to make them germinate and grow, and that One person is God. That is why it is important you pray well before entering into a marriage union, and still you need good attitude and plenty of prayers to sustain marriage and be happy in it.
Many people after going throw at least one to two divorce experiences have concluded that they are not destined for marriage. Even among Christians this philosophy is fast springing up, and when I hear such things as this I wonder within me that can this really be true? In the fullness of God, will He allow experimental marriages whereby after two failed experiences we are permitted to come to the conclusion that we are not destined for marriage? Knowing that God frowns at divorce, we as Christians with our eyes fully fixed on Jesus should know that experimental marriages is not God’s design. From my own perspective, I have come to the conclusion that marriages fail because we have not made the right investment in it.
A very submissive wife that has neglected the addition of prayers is like one with substance but lacks power. And when you are so submissive and prayerful without the knowledge of the word of God you are like one praying amiss. Though you have learnt to sow, still you need to commit that labour of sowing to God who makes your seed to germinate and grow to produce fruits for you to enjoy. Sowing without committing the seed to God who makes it to grow is the typical case of wives who get frustrated at self effort of submissive. The Bible says “if the builders are building and God is not building with them, they labour in vain.”
In like manner, if a wife is prayerful but yet lacks the right attitude to make a marriage union work, then you have sown nothing. You are committing nothing into God’s hands for Him to work with on your behalf. You have not made any investment for which you expect any returns on investment.
And this also applies to the man. The love you show to your wife as yourself is an investment and a seed sown and if it is well sown with prayers, it will definitely yield good returns for you. Marriage is a beautiful institution that God has given us, it is good and it is meant to be enjoyed and not endured.
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